Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
