My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
