it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize