So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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