i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
