i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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