oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize