Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
