So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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