you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize