Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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