i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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