I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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