the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I want is dick and wine.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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