I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
