I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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