im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
