You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I understand Curling. That high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
