your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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