I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
