I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
