Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
