About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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