its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
