somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize