SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
