My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
