I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
