but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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