I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
