Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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