nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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