This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
