are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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