Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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