His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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