he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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