You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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