i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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