I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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