In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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