Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you will always have a special place in my vag
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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