your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize