4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
