I think my vagina is haunted
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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