Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
