Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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