i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
