How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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