ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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