i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
