in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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