Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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