Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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