the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
