I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
