He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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