dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
