if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
