The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
