in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ttyl tear gas
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We need to get me chipped asap