don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.