Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run