I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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