Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
