You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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