but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
